Waiting

And so I sit here
Another night trying to keep busy
Another night hoping
Hoping I hear that ring
That ring that would tell me you decided to call after all
Instead I try to occupy my mind
With meaningless busy work,
Telling myself you just didn’t have time tonight
But I know you have time,
You told me you have nothing planned
So I sit, trying occupy my mind
With mindless past times
While all I have to say creates a storm in mind
the likes of which I’ve never needed to get out more
So I sit,
Doubting what I want,
What I need.
When I know,
I know I want you,
Need you,
Yet you won’t let me have either
Making rules restricting what I can say to keep you in my life
So I sit here
Wondering if the keys on my phone can portray how my heart,
my mind,
my soul,
I am still waiting for my sun to shineMy entire existence,
Can even come close to telling you,
Yelling to your heart,
that beats with mine
Shouting to your soul,
that has somehow found mine,
Screaming to your existence,
that I know cries out for mine
I even know my own words will not begin to suffice
I will get lost,
I will stumble,
I will fall into the words I try to use
The words I use to try and convince you that,
Even though we are not close together,
Separated by mere miles,
I will be beside you in every venture you choose to try.
But you will not hear that we are meant for each other right now
That timing is everything,
And our time is not now,
And though our time is not now,
To hold onto hope that one day our time will come.
And I will say we need to make our own timing and it IS now!
And that is where it will be too much
Too much for me?
Or too much for you?
I fear either way will end
End how I wish it does not…
And so,
I sit here.

Waiting

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